Monday, February 7, 2011

Sunday Scribblings # 253 - Story

One of the prompts this week - and the one I am using tonight - is: What is your story. Good grief! Why is it so hard to talk about myself at times?

My story... my story is that I never dreamed I would be where I am right now, and it is a good and a bad thing at the same time - contradictions!

For the longest time I thought I was going to be married by a certain age, have two kids by another age, etc. When I saw that it was not happening my story changed and I saw myself happy with a partner, loving my job, seeing the world, having a great life...

One thing is for certain, I never wanted to be a single mom, a struggling single mother of one beautiful Princess... but I am, and I love being a mom to my sweet girl, and that is the part that is good... that is the part that I would never change.

How did I get here? I don't know... All I know is that now that I have her I don't have the money, the time, the energy... the partner... she deserves and I so badly wish I could give her...

I try, I do my best and I guess that is all I can do, but of course I want to give her more... that is my current struggle, that is my story: It is bad that I am lacking so many things I used to have, it is good that she is in my life :)

Faith is what sustains me, all I can do now is keep on praying for more balance in all aspects of our lives... she does not know what I had before but I do...

For the time being I try to focus on what we do have: our time together, health, laughter, love, family and friends... as for the rest, I try to take one day at a time and hope and pray for better days :)

4 comments:

  1. How many people actually follow their plans to the letter? Very few I expect. What you have indicated is that despite not achieving your initial goals you have a lovely daughter who is very precious to you and you can be proud of yourself for that and the love you have for each other

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  2. What a poignant story, but only in the sense of what you might have had. The poignancy is more than offset by the pleasing glow of what you have got - your health and your wonderful daughter and the pleasure you find in your mutual love.

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  3. we learn along the way,
    beautiful tale.
    lovely done.

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  4. I think its inspiring and an amazing grace to have love n laughter in life. Keep going one day at a time!

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